College Planning, Suffering, and the Avarice of Ray Charles; Or, The Top 5 Things My Kids Have Said That Still Make Me Laugh

Darren Rowse over at problogger.net has started another group writing project (with prizes!), and the assignment is an interesting one: he calls on bloggers simply to write some kind of list post, on any topic of interest to them. So here's mine:

College Planning, Suffering, and the Avarice of Ray Charles; Or, The Top 5 Things My Kids Have Said That Still Make Me Laugh

I know, I know, other kids' funny remarks aren't necessarily funny to everybody, which is why I weeded out the chaff, people, excising the merely cute. Or so I hope. See what you think.

(Note: Rebecca is now 10 and Melissa 4. I give their ages in parentheses at the time each comment was made.)

Number 5:

Rebecca (5.5 yrs.) and Daddy are listening to Ray Charles's version of "America the Beautiful," sung before game two of the World Series:

Daddy: "What I like best about his voice is that it has feeling. When he sings, it sounds like he really means it."

Rebecca: "I think he's just doing it for the money."

Number 4:

Here I am telling Melissa (4yrs.) that she has put something away in the wrong place.

Mommy: "This is not good! You'll lose pieces this way."

Sitting on the toilet a few feet away, Melissa draws up her dignity and says, quite calmly:

"I hate you. Okay? Think about that."

Number 3:

Rebecca (4.5 yrs.): "Get me staples."

Daddy: "You should say 'please.'"

Rebecca: "I was suffering! What would you do if you were suffering?"

Number 2:

I am helping Rebecca (not quite 4yrs.) with her new drawing toy:

Rebecca: "Are you wrecking it?"

Me: "No, I'm not wrecking it. Though I have to admit it's not coming out very well."

Rebecca: "That's why it's called 'wrecking it.'"

And the number 1 thing my kids have said that still make me laugh:

A friend, Kelly, is driving Rebecca (5 yrs.) and two of Rebecca's friends--Sage and Rachael--on a field trip. Kelly, making conversation, suggests that maybe Rebecca, Sage, and Rachael will be able to go to college together. Rebecca responds, "No, I don't think college is in the picture for all three of us."

Tags: Darren Rowse, ProBlogger, Ray Charles

Comments

[Susan]

1.

Love the stories, Debra! I had to call Peter in to hear the Ray Charles story and Rebecca's college comments. They're just priceless. (Tell her the young Dullards were never capable of anything so astute!)

[Debra Hamel]

2.

Ouch! Good thing the boys don't know your whereabouts on the web! (I'm glad you liked the stories.)

[Susan]

3.

Well, I happily subscribe to the belief that there are different kinds of intelligence and each has its own particular merits. My little Dullards are certainly not fools. In many ways they are brighter than average. They simply don't have that laser-bright insightfulness that Rebecca has. I suppose she has the mind of a scientist, really... My boys are more 'artsy' types.

[Clare]

4.

Oh, they're just hilarious. And they are both so incredibly young when they say them too. What is that saying? Our of the the mouths of babes...?

[MamaDuck]

5.

ROTFL!! These are just great!! Our list is up if you'd like to look - http://lilduckduck.com/ducky-moments-in-time/240

Have a great day!

[Karen]

6.

VERY funny! I'm guessing there's a fair amount of sarcasm for them to model in your house...! ;-)

[Jersey Girl]

7.

Oh my gosh...i almost spit my soda out at "I hate you. Okay? Think about that."...i'm still laughing, tears streaming down..thx for sharing this...okay...still giggling...calming down...great post. No seriously, I'm finally about to stop laughing...okay, maybe not. :)

[Debra Hamel]

8.

Thanks, everybody! And Jersey Girl: I *cannot* be held responsible for any soda-related keyboard damage!

[nrkii]

9.

The "I hate you" statement is absolutely perfect!!!

My friend's nephew, age 3, is a major Star Wars fan, walking around the house in a Darth Vader suit with a light sabre, etc. One day, when his grandmother asked him a pretty basic question about Anakin, he raised his eyebrows and said to his grandfather with a sigh, "The force is not strong in this one."

Thanks for the laugh Debra!

[Debra Hamel]

10.

Well, you just made *me* laugh with that one. That's great.

[Maxine]

11.

Oh how I wish I had written down all the lovely funny comments my girls used to make. Lovely post, Debra, I assume you've entered it over at Problogger?

[Caryn]

12.

Cute and hilarious! I especially liked the third one. You have a melodramatic one on your hands, don't ya?

[Debra Hamel]

13.

Oh yes! She in fact wants to be an actress now. Thanks for visiting!

Yes, Maxine, I did the ProBlogger thing. That Darren definitely knows how to get people involved in projects.

[Nancy R. Callahan]

14.

#4, "I hate you. Okay? Think about that," was hilarious. :) ["The force is not strong in this one" -- the one from nrkii -- was great, too.]

[Daddy Forever]

15.

Funny. My son (3 years) likes to say, "I'm mad at you and you're bad" and "I hate mommy, she gets big time out."

[Scott Howard]

16.

Just thought I would let you know that I posted a link to your blog list from my blog, you can check it out here if you want http://www.dipnoi.org/archives/category/children/ I enjoyed your post